Love life like yourself ?!?!?


The Philosophy of lovelifelikeyourself …
May 30, 2010, 12:13 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

1. DON’T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON’T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

 2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?” SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

6. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

7. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

8. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

9. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

10. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

11. WHY DO THEY LOCK PETROL STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

12. IF A TURTLE DOESN’T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

13. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

14. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

15. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

16. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON’T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

17. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGE-BRA?

18. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?

19. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

20. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

21. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

22. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD ‘LISP’ TO HAVE ‘S’ IN IT?

23. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

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