Love life like yourself ?!?!?

A letter from Avigayil Yeret-Witt To leah kleim
May 6, 2010, 2:04 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Life wasn’t so simple. I was trying to find my way back. But you know how it goes for FFBs (Frum from Births). If I wake up and say Modsh Ani, then I for sure have to wash Negel Vasser. If I can do that I can daven brachot before I eat and make brachot before my food, after food, after the bathroom……All that was just way too much for me. Let alone 6 hour waits between meat and milk, Shabbat, skirts……the whole 9 yards. I really wanted to find my way back, but didn’t know how to take baby steps, and big leaps relapse before you can say Hamentaschen.
There is a woman in Tzfat named Talya. My first exposure to Breslov. She met me right after I moved there and I told her that all I really wanted was to have a family. Raised with divorced parents and no siblings, I really craved to have MY family. She kept on mentioning that she was going to Uman, to the kever of Rebbe Nachman and several other Tzaddikim, and that I should write a letter for her to put by the grave. As much as I really wanted to do that, I thought to myself, “How can I pour out my heart to Hashem in this letter and then wake up the next day and continue my routine? I have to be ready to make a change.” And of course, I kept on pushing it off. Until 1 night, very late…she knocked at my door. Without too many details….there was a little party happening. Oops….. So I took a deep breath and said, hey guys….this is Talya. Miskeina – clearly out of her element, her face turned red, but was adamant about not leaving without my letter. She had high hopes for me. So I found a paper and a pen and I had no clue what to write. …and then my pen kinda did its own thing and it wrote out the following: “Hashem, WHERE ARE YOU??????” I folded it a few times and gave it to her.
In my mind I knew I had “sorta” gone way off the trail, and ventured on some twists and turns. Yet, I knew the general direction I wanted to go in, but really had no clue had to get back to the path that would lead me there.

So off she went with my “letter” in hand. She arrived in Uman Friday morning and I felt my life begin to change. I call that my first Shabbat. I kept it with my whole heart. Not because my parents or my teachers, or my friends were watching, but cuz my soul was at Har Sinai. Cuz Shabbat was inside me. Inside my neshama. Shabbat glowed from the inside out. Not from the outside in.

Saturday night was Lag Ba’Omer in Meron. All day long I was convinced that I would see my soulmate there. It was just clear to me. My friends said that I was crazy… Its ok, they’re still my friends. : ). Motzei Shabbat came along and we all went to Meron. I lost hours of time staring into the fire and saying Tehillim. When I kinda snapped out of my trance, this guy was standing on a rock not too far away from me. Ripped jeans, tie dye shirt, crocheted kipah, long peyos, and a big smile. My religious experience growing up was kinda geeky and after traveling down the roads I chose for myself, I just couldn’t image becoming a religious geek again. This guy had the perfect combination of Jewish pride and coolness. A combination I had no clue existed. (Thank You Rebbe Shlomo). The person sitting next to me yelled, “Brother Shmali – How are you?” and gave him a big hug. And I’m thinking to myself, “Shmali, what kinda weird name is that?” But I made a mental note of the whole experience and tucked it away somewhere safe. At the time I had no clue that Shmali was short for Shma Yisrael. – the coolest name EVER!!!

A few weeks later, a girl named Sarala knocked at my door. We had some mutual friends and they wanted to introduce us. She was passing by and decided to introduce herself. We had some tea and talked through the night. An instant connection. Somewhere along the ways, she said something like this: Blah blah blah, my twin brother Shmali, blah blah blah. And Suddenly, I could see his face in hers. We asked eachother a bunch of questions and she called home to ask Shamli to stick around for the upcoming Shabbat in Yerushalayim cuz she wanted to bring a friend of hers to meet him.

Shmali and I immediately felt comfortable with eachother. We played a few games…


Avigayil Yeret-Witt

Avigayil Yeret-Witt

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6 Comments so far
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What if i dont feal comfortable with my girl?

Comment by LAG BA OMER

Rabbi Nachman ! Na Nach !

please post it. i’m speechless by your reply. i force myself to be positive. i usually fail.
On Wed, May 5, 2010 at 2:23 PM, Leah Kleim wrote:

AMAZING STORY ! And sent to me at the perfect minute in my empty time !Life sucks right now and I’m about to make a huge decision. I have been nervously pacing around with rash decisions going through my head and coming to extreme conclusions. When I get scared, or am in pain, the writer in me wakes up and starts coloring all over the world wide screen.

I sat down at my computer to attack my keyboard with a bottle of vodka and bottled up feelings and something inside me told me to screw off and check my E-mail instead.

There were two unopened E-mails, this one from you and one from some playful cyber stalker. To be totaly honest with you, when ever I get an E-mail from you I don’t start jumping up and down, I push off opening it and replying. I find it much more amusing and I get alot more empty mental stimulation and more giggles, by answering “The Leah Kleim FanClub” than by answering you.

You’r E-mails are always full of possitive happiness and that is something I have a problem relating too and an easy time disregarding and labeling as a trunk full of junk.

With all my pain, anger , fear and rage ready to attack the screen… I somehow found myself jumping to open this E-mail from you, like it was yelling my name…It was. I’m glad you sent it, I’m glad I opened it, because if I didn’t I think I was gonna open my wrists.

After a long pause, a big swig of vodka, and nine months worth of tears finally coming out,I finish this letter to you, by telling you THANK YOU. I dont know exactly what it did to me, but I know it affected me in a better way than I would have affected myself.

Do you mind if I post this ? I will cut out all the names if you like.
YOU’R A NA NACH ? I had no Idea ! I love them ! The NA NACH anthem is the ringtoneon my phone, I put it there on Lag B’amoer.

Leah Kleim.

Comment by Leah Kleim

P.S… I got nine tattoos today.

Comment by Leah Kleim

Show us your ink!

Comment by Zac

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