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Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky … not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $0.30?
Number 2 In the ’60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007: We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven’t got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
And the BONUS thought for today “Life is like a jar of jalapeños . What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow”.
XOXOXO
HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!
LEAH KLEIM !!! Taken From: http://babyboiiluvu.blogspot.com/2007/12/happy-fucking-new-year.html
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A Texas woman is demanding an apology from her city’s mass transit system after she was booted off a bus for reading the Bible aloud.
Christine Lutz was on her way to church and reading passages to her children on The T bus when the driver suddenly interrupted her.
“She asked me to stop reading my Bible,” Lutz told MyFoxDFW.com. “I said, ‘No, I’m reading the Bible, I’m teaching the kids, I’m going to continue.’ And I continued.”
Next thing Lutz knew, the bus had pulled over and she was being escorted into a supervisor’s van, which took the family to church, MyFoxDFW.com reported.
A spokeswoman for The T said even if Lutz had been reading “Moby Dick” or the Pledge of Allegiance, the same outcome would have occurred.
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| WELCOME DAILY SHOW VIEWERS! Welcome to Eathufu.com. On our HufuBlog we have a special greeting for our guests from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. We are proud to offer the public our product line of human and sea mammal meat substitutes, and we are looking forward to offering you more exciting, exotic and unusual food products in the future. And don’t forget to check out our stylish lines of Hufu and Delicious Baby Seal apparel!IS THIS FOR REAL? Yes. Check our FAQs for answers to common questions. You can also find out more about the company in the media section. |
FEATURE STORY
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WASHINGTON — A website devoted to squishing kittens into Mason jars is one of two things: A trenchant parody designed to provoke, or a nefarious kitty-mutilation scheme that must be stopped, and probably outlawed.
Count the FBI among the many visitors to bonsaikitten.com who are anything but amused at the descriptions of how to use muscle relaxant, feeding tubes and Klein bottles to shape a perfect Bonsai Cat.
FBI agents in the Boston field office have launched an investigation into the site. They also have served MIT with a grand jury subpoena asking for “any and all subscriber information” about the site, which was initially hosted in a campus dormitory but has since moved to a commercial provider.
MIT said in a letter to bonsaikitten.com’s pseudonymous webmaster, a graduate student using the alias Dr. Michael Wong Chang, that it will wait until Sunday to turn over records that would identify him by name.
“I was surprised,” Chang said. “I really thought that the FBI had better things to do. That’s your tax dollars at work.”
Bonsaikitten.com is, of course, a joke devised by prankster MIT students — who else would talk about “rectilinear kittens?” — to provoke owners of kittens, an adorably fuzzy topic that’s usually beyond parody.
Bonsaikitten.com offers to sell visitors a custom-shaped kitten — the site says “typical wait time for a fully shaped Bonsai Kitten is 3 to 4 months” — but the site does not list prices or a mailing address for where to send money orders. It does, however, occasionally receive requests for more information.
It also has sparked tens of thousands of hate-mail messages, anti-Bonsai Kitten groups on Yahoo, and even a blistering denunciation from the venerable Humane Society of the United States.
For the site’s fans, watching e-mail nastygrams arrive has become a kind of spectator sport: There’s even a mailing list that lets bonsaikitten.com aficionados view any mail sent to the site’s webmaster. A typical message: “This site is horrible! You should go in a mental hospital! You son of a bitch! I’ll do my best to shut down this site and your disgusting hobby!”
A gun-toting investigator from the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals reportedly stopped by campus and quizzed MIT network administrators about the intent of the site. Under state law, MSPCA investigators are deputized as “special state police officers” with investigation and arrest abilities.
The combined efforts of animal rights proponents, including such ardent activists as the closed-subscription “meowmies” group, seem to have prompted the FBI to launch its investigation.
“Why are they doing this?” asks Harvey Silverglate, a prominent Boston criminal defense attorney. “I think the answer is that political correctness has infected the FBI.”
“The kind of fanatical end of the spectrum animal protection movement has affected them,” says Silverglate, a partner at Silverglate and Good. “They want to be the good guys. They massively run rampant over Americans’ liberties but they want to be seen as nice fuzzy guys who want to protect kittens.”
Taken From: http://www.wired.com/politics/law/news/2001/02/41733

